i...i really need someone to listen even if what i'm saying doesn't make any sense...my friend...he died i talked to him for the last time the night he died he told me good bye but part of me thought he would just text me back in the morning like he always did...but he didn't. Edward was always a drama queen, he always was telling me something crazy like he was dieing or got shot or got out of rehab or he just got out of the hospital cause he tried to kill himself again. to tell you the truth most of the time i had a hard time believing him most of the time but i didn't judge him he always made me smile and even when we did fight he was always willing to admit when he was wrong and say sorry. Him and Ryan hated each other with a passion, Ryan thought he was an idiot and Edward hated him cause he had the one thing he could never have, me. So when i told Ryan that Edward was died of coarse he had to prove it so i said its true if you don't believe me call him...a huge part of me just wanted Edward to pick up, to have just been another stupid drama moment of his but no one picked up. I later got a text from Edward only to find out it was his mom on his phone, he really was gone. That night really was his last goodbye. His mom told me he left a note that told her to tell me not to cry....but how can i not. Last night i went to see New Moon and the whole time i was watching all i could think about was him. To me Twilight really did represent my life Ryan my vampire and Edward my werewolf. Edward was first nations too...and watching that movie and see the character Jacob all i say was my friend Edward. Even the tension between Edward and Jacob is a perfect reflection of Ryan and Edward, they never got along and I'm sure if they had ever been put in a room together they would have ripped each others throats. All i could think about that movie was how unfair that Bell got to keep her werewolf, that he got to see her get married and have a kid (and I'm sorry if i just ruined it for you if you've never read the books) My werewolf won't get to see my baby born next April, he gone and its not fair. I just miss him, i miss him so much